29 December, 2014

Top 5 Most Annoying Enemies in Dark Souls

This time around, I want to write about one of my favorite games in recent memory, and a strong contender to be included on my Top-10-Games-of-All-Time list, Dark Souls. I’ve got a few ideas for Dark Souls related topics I want to write about at some point, but I think I’ll start with a fairly straightforward one: the most annoying enemies in the game. It seems like everyone and their grandma has done a list about their favorite and least favorite bosses, but similar lists of regular enemies seem to be at least a little bit less common. I chose the enemies to include on this list based on how difficult they are to deal with and how rage-inducing they can be. In the end, all of the entries scored pretty high on both accounts.

5. Skeleton Dogs

Image taken from
<http://www.nuk3.com/gallery/

images/comedy/full/108.jpg>
Tomb of the Giants seems to generally be regarded as everyone’s least favorite area in the game. There are two main reasons for this: The first one is that the place is practically pitch black, and hence requires the player to use a source of external light. Unfortunately, there are only three options available in the game  a Cast Light sorcery for the magically inclined, a lantern that takes the place of your shield, or a special illuminating headpiece that you need to find first. Needless to say, the darkness can pose a challenge for the unprepared. The second reasons are the Skeleton Dogs that lurk in the darkness, and let me tell you, the weird panting sound they make while laying in ambush is deeply disturbing. They are huge, deal tons of damage, attack in erratic patterns and have a lot of health. A royal pain in the backside, in short. On the upside, I have to say that their design is quite memorable. Maybe that will provide some small comfort when they maul you to pieces in the impenetrable darkness that is Tomb of the Giants, where no one can hear you scream.

Nice doggy...

4. New Londo Ghosts

I think New Londo Ruins is a pretty cool location; it has interesting (and tragic) lore behind it, a unique progression mechanic where the area is initially flooded and you have to find a way to drain the water to access the lower levels, an unexpected “shortcut” to Valley of the Drakes, and a cool boss fight at the end. New Londo Ruins is also one of my least favorite areas in the game. Why, you may ask. Because of these goddamn ghosts, that’s why. They are a unique enemy because they cannot be attacked normally: in order to kill them, you have to either be cursed (and being cursed halves your total HP, so this isn’t a very viable strategy), use a special consumable which allows you to temporary attack them, or use one of the three cursed weapons in the game (which can be a pain in the ass to acquire, depending on your luck). But believe it or not, the minor challenge of not being able to attack them without taking precautions is actually the least of your worries when dealing with these spectral rump ravagers. Due to the fact that they are ghosts, they can move freely through walls, floors, and ceilings, or stay hidden inside them and attack from there without you being able to retaliate. As if all of that wasn’t enough, they also have a tendency to hang out in these ghastly ghost posses and gang up on you, should you venture too close. Oh, and did I mention that when you do manage to kill them, you get hardly any souls for your troubles? Gee, thanks From Software! So, all in all, fuck these ghosts and fuck Spooky Londo Ruins.

2spooky4me somebody call the damn Ghostbusters

3. Blowdart Snipers

These asshats really make me scratch my head. When you think about it, a lot of enemies in Dark Souls teach you something about the game. For example, Silver Knights teach you that parrying is king, and the Slimes in the Depths teach you that some enemies are vulnerable to certain types of damage (case in point, they are weak to fire). I’m not really sure what the Snipers teach you. They generally start shooting toxic darts at you before you even see them (and the darts are also difficult to see), so on your first playthrough, you’re simply going to get hit without even realizing what happened at first. The toxic darts, as the name implies, inflict a toxic status effect, which is essentially poison on steroids. Basically, if you get hit by the darts and become toxic, it’s game over man, game over, unless you, for some inconceivable reason, happen to have a stock of Blooming Purple Moss Clumps at hand. Maybe they were supposed to teach that you shouldn't just hang back and play passive all the time, but rather close the distance and get the job done. What they ended up teaching me, however, is to just do suicide runs to kill them, since they are one of the few enemies in the game that do not respawn. I’m not entirely sure if that’s what the developers intended. Anyways, they certainly deserve their spot on this list.

What's not the like about Blighttown?

2. Bonewheel Skeletons

The upsides of Bonewheels:
  1. They are only found in two places in the game.
  2. There are no more upsides.
These are truly some of the most terrifying enemies in the game. Not only do they inhibit some of the darkest and most claustrophobic places there are in Lordran, they, like the New Londo Ghosts, like to hang out in deadly posses. These are probably even worse, though. It’s like they’re some morbid and twisted version of biker gang thugs, pulled out straight from the depths of Seven Hells. As everyone who has played Dark Souls knows, what makes Bonewheels iconic is their deadly rolling attack where they zoom at you at the speed of a fighter jet  bless the poor soul who gets hit by them. If you do get hit by the rolling attack, chances are pretty good you’re dead. If, instead, you get hit but manage to block, enjoy all of your stamina being drained in a couple of seconds, unless you happen to use a greatshield. During my first playthrough, my body became conditioned to clench my butt cheeks real tight whenever I heard the unmistakable sound of these wheels of death revving up and zooming towards me.

They see me rollin', they hatin'.


1. Giant Mosquitos

These are definitely the least dangerous enemies on this list, but they are also by far the most annoying. The first of their quirks is that they spawn endlessly and hunt you down almost everywhere you are in lower Blighttown; you just cant get away from them. Oh, and did I mention how they sound precisely as annoying as real mosquitoes do? BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  oh, sorry, what was that? I couldn’t quite hear you over the sound of my BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. The worst part about them, though, is that they fly (no shit, mosquitoes fly?). The thing is, Dark Souls’ lock-on system apparently was not created with flying enemies in mind, and as a result, the mosquitoes are often impossible to hit with a melee weapon. Then again, maybe that was a conscious design choice to emulate how swatting real-life mosquitoes is an exercise in frustration? Damn, From Software, such immersion, much wow! As a side note, I have to point out that two of these five enemies dwell in everyone’s favorite town in Lordran, Blighttown (more like Delighttown, amirite?). No wonder people always just skip it.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Honorary Mention

An honorary mention goes out to the Basilisks. While they pose little challenge for an experienced adventurer, they can thoroughly devastate an unsuspecting victim. They are made even more dangerous by their relatively unthreatening appearance  I’ve even seen some people describe them as being cute! Personally, though, I have to question those people’s sanity  just look at those freakishly large, bulgy eyes. These bastards always give me the heebie jeebies... The reason these frog-like fiends made this list is, naturally, their ability to blow out a cloud of miasma that kills and renders the victim cursed, should he or she stay in the cloud for too long.

In my first playthrough, I stumbled on one of the pitfalls in the Depths, which drops you down to the basilisk-infested sewers. I promptly got gang raped by a mob of these and turned into a pretty statue, catching a curse for my troubles. So, I had to backtrack to the Female Undead Merchant in the Lower Undead Burg to buy a Purging Stone for a whopping 4000 souls (it felt like a fortune back then) to cure the condition. I was then able to return to the Depths, where I immediately fell down into a different pitfall, and got molested and cursed. Again. Back to the merchant with me. At least I didnt fall down a third time, but the experience scarred me for life. I no longer go down to the sewers.


Watch out for those fumes

And there you have it; a list of the five enemies in Dark Souls that caused me the most anal anguish during my first playthrough. Next time, Ill turn the tables around and list my five favorite enemies in Dark Souls.

No comments:

Post a Comment